Dialogues You'll hear only in an Engineering Class

1. On being Late

(standing at the door... gesturing to a friend)

"Andar aaon kya? Kab chalu hua?"

"Attendance ho gaya kya??"

"I was searching for the Classroom"

"Train was late"


2. During the lecture

"mera assignment tere paas hai??"

"Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha bunk karenge."

"Heads, we go home, Tails, we go home now!!!"

"Journal sheet hai??"


3. Lab

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"Idhar Karna kya hai??"


4. Unit Test

"Oh Shit!!!!!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya?"

"Aaj kounsa test hai?"


5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)

"I forgot the I-card , so watchman didn't let me in"


6. Late submission of assignments

"Maine usko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assgnment bhi saath mein submitkar dena"

"Last date extend hua thaa"

"I didn't know the last date"


7. Late submission of Journal (for printouts)

"Format pataa nahi thaa"

"Printer is not working today"

"Friday ko light nahi thee"


8. VIVA (after exam)

"Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?"

"Achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?"

"Ye subject ka reference book kounsa hai" "


9. VIVA (before exam)

"Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya Kjaq doonga"

"Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ka ab tak preparation nahi hua hai"


10. VIVA (General)

"Dekh, tu jo bhi padhega, woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point"

"Roll no. 1 aur 2 ko wapas bulaaya hai"

"External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai"

"Ye kounse subject mein aata hai"

"Aaj kounsa Viva hai?"


11. Submission

"Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?"

"Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?"

"Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?"


12. Assignments

"Ye tune kya likha hai????"

"Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uska drawing nikal"

"Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??"

"Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya, tu bhi wohi kar. Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh , jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai woh chhod de."


13. Exam

"Jo (mujhe)aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai who aata hai"

"ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai"

"ye last time hi poochha thaa"

"tere paas iske notes hai??"

"woh chapter... mark weightage 6 marks... (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)"

"nahi samjha to rat le"

(when someone is intensively doing his last revision)

"Yeh nahi aayega !!!"


anything to be added?

Source: http://kedarparikh.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_archive.html

Engineering - An applied problem

Tution Fees for one year @ college: Rs 52,000/-
Tution Fees for maths classes @ vidyalankar: Rs 6400/-
Fanatic guides: Rs 1500/-
Clearing sem I, after scoring
40 in maths + 40 in CP + 40 in BEE: ..........................Priceless

After answering over a few hundred tests in the past 10 years, I never thought I would ever be happy with 55%, But that has changed, and by how! I have honestly never been happier with my result.

A little build up on the scenario:

Post 10th - After scoring over 85% you take up science, and would kill for a vocational subject.
Post 12th - After slogging for over 1 1/2 years, you finally give your HSC, then you give JEE, then AIEEE, then BITSAT, and if still there's some life left in you, you appear for CET.

In case your smart make that really really smart you manage to get into a college on merit, else in case you're lucky enough to have a rich daddy, or like the majority of Indians come under a minority tag you manage to get in.
Now, that was the easy part what follows is years of struggle of what will be a B.E. degree.

College begins, and by the time you sober down you realize your internal tests are on, then you have your practical exams and then finally you're in, for the university exams. Now the exams, as in case of the Mumbai University is one month of exams, each paper is spaced by around 5-6 days. 6 days is all you need for revision. But the problem is for revision you first need to study, that's where smart play comes in.

Smart play by student:
Now this is what students think they are good at
e.g. 1) take BEE, you'd realize that just 2 chapters, AC/DC (no, not the band) make up of 50% of the marks, so you leave the rest for option.
e.g. 2) You open you maths book, and realize that you are actually capable of solving 9 out of 10 sums. The 10th one is too much, for your modest brain, so you leave that.

Smarter play by paper-setter:
The BEE paper will hardly have 20 marks from AC/DC and even Phd holders in electronics won't be able to solve and your maths paper will have only the sums that were too much for you.
Think you're too unlucky?