How to be single and feel great on Valentine's Day

This is the only time of the year that everything... right from NDTV to the Newspapers have something to say about love.
The 37.1% of the population (orkut statistics for single users) have nothing much to do and may get this wrong notion that people celebrating Valentine's Day are a happy bunch (lol)

Here's a scene from 'Everybody hates Chris'

6 websites you don't want to leave in your browser history

" Jo Diktha hai woh hota nahi
Jo nahi Diktha hai woh hi hota hai"

1) therapistfinder.com
What you'd expect: A database, for finding rapists.
What you'd find: "Find the therapist who's perfect of you", yeah right! that's exactly what I need now.

2) bigalsonline.com
What you'd expect: .. eh... you get it ?
What you'd find: Big Al's Aquarium,

3) childrenswear.com
What you'd expect: yeah, they do. more than me atleast
What you'd find: Children's Wear

4) cumstore.co.uk
What you'd expect: you get these in stores these days?
What you'd find: Cumbria Storage Systems Ltd

5) whorepresents.com
What you'd expect: looks like the world's oldest profession has gone pro
What you'd find: Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity

6) speedofart.com
What you'd expect: I'd reckon it's atleast faster than the speed of sound
What you'd find: A chinese guy, in a rather odd positon. Maybe their measuring his fart.

Vodafone mistakes me....for Vijay Mallya?

What would you do if you were given an opportunity to pick between Katrina and Priyanka?
Vodafone sent me a SMS before new year, giving me some rather tempting options for New-Year. No; I didn't reply to them, having received Pamela Anderson messages for the last 2 years has only made me wiser.
I planned to spend the evening with COA, (not to be mistaken for Goa). COA is one of third semester subjects for Computer Engineering Students. Again I couldn't stick with my plans and ended up watching Armaggedon on Zee Studio instead.
BTW Happy New Year!

4 ways to be a different person

Are you bored with your life? Are you tired of being nerdy or geeky or cool or cute or ugly? Do you want a new avatar?
Use one of the following get-ups to make the world look at you in a different way and notice the sea of change that will come into your life!

Wear Specs


Qualities that you will be automatically associated with:
hardworking, intelligence, more productive

Warning!
Male spectacle wearers have a tough time, picking up chicks. See pic above for further evidence.

Grow a beard


http://www.biggerbetterbeards.org/

Warning!
If you travel a lot, you are only going to be frisked even more

Smile!

People who smile are considered to be humorous, and playful.

Warning!
Carrying a smile all the time will only make you look psychotic.


Grow Your Hair

Right from Moses to Abdul Kalam all great Men had long hair. People with hair longer than 5 inches have a 73.2% greater chance of becoming famous. Did you know that 61.7% all statistics are fake and are made up on the spot?

Warning!
You could be mistaken for a girl, so keeping a beard may come in handy

Murphy's Laws

What's that?

The laws have little to do with any individual and definitely nothing to do with Eddie Murphy. Murphy's law is a term used to describe something along the lines of "if anything can go wrong, it will."

Classical Murphy's laws:

1. If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway
2. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
3. Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Variation: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time)
5. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
   

Modern laws:

1. The cellphone will start to ring the moment you enter the bathroom.
2. If you are expecting an important call, your cellphone will ring and when you say "hello" vodafone's callertunes will start playing.
3. Any cool computer game will need more memory than you have.
4. Your hard-disk will crash the moment you finish your project.
   

Guide to Interpreting Photos on Orkut

jo dikhta hai....humko lagta hain,
jo nahi diktha....humko lagta hai nahi hain.
lekin kabhi kabhi...
jo dikhta hai woh nahi hota aur jo nahi dikhta hai woh hota hai

-Ishant Awasthi

Profile Photo	Effects	What they want you to think	Truth
	Blurred	Artistic	Has acne, possibly moustache if female
	Anime	Eccentric, possibly Japanese	Computer programmer
	Holding some sort of alcoholic beverage	Fun, Laidback	Never photographed without the bottle
	Dark	Doesn’t care	Dangerous, possibly a terrorist
	Dude jamming on guitar	He's in a popular band and rocks out all the time	Unemployed
	Cartoon	Cute	Immature, possibly fat
	Face at strange, usually downward, angle	Eccentric, possibly supermodel	Unattractive; this is the only good picture of them ever taken
	Very closely cropped	Enigmatic	Fat
	Guy milking a cow	Owns a cow and thinks that’s cool	Owns a cow and thinks that’s cool

Original article : http://www.buttafly.com/

What's so happy about a birthday?

If there's one thing that's common between a 4 year old and a 94 year old, is; both of them will be looking forward towards their next birthday. The same cannot necessarily be said regarding the others. The more birthdays we have, the more complicated our idea regarding a birthday gets.

An analysis of birthday from the point of view of age:

1) 0-2 years

how old are you?
This would be answered by a third person, a parent in most cases and oddly enough you wont get a straight answer.
"She's 17 months old"
Why would I want that? I find it very difficult to convert that into years. 5 months is no big deal for me, it would make a lot more sense if you just told me she's one year old.

2)2-13 years

This is the real fun part. Birthday's are not all that common, and you love the perks they bring along, birthday parties, gifts and more importantly a promotion.

how old are you?
Nobody is just 5 years, you are "5 and a half", yeah, the half is a big deal now. It's like I am closer to 6 than 5.

3)13-21

how old are you?
"I am going on 16", the one month that's passed since my last birthday is good enough to take me to the next whole number.

4)21-29

how old are you?
This is probably the most honest phase of your life, so you are just as old as you are.

5) 30-40

how old are you?
The fact that I am 35 is good enough to pass me onto the "early thirties tag".

6)40-60

how old are you?
"I am in my late thirties", you don't expect someone of my age to lie, do you?

7)60-95

how old are you?
It doesn't make a difference, I am closer to the finish than the beginning.
"eh! could you repeat that?"

8) 95+

how old are you?
This is where the cycle takes a 360 degree turn
"I will be completing 99 next year, and if I am lucky you will see me on my 100th birthday as well!"